How can you tell if someone is lying?
I was on a plane from LA. The guy sitting next to me was drinking mini-bottles of vodka the entire way back.
We started talking. He once worked for a three initial agency that must be kept private. Then he worked for another one and another one.
His job: he interrogated people who might have been spies.
He told me some of the more famous cases he worked on.
He told me he’s interrogated hundreds of people. Maybe thousands.
I said, “How can you tell if someone is lying?”
This was his answer:
Put them on a chair that rollsAsk them some easy questions first. Like, “when were you born?” “Where do you live?” etc. They won’t roll away with their chair.Ask them some harder questions that you know they will answer truthfully. Like, “What was your first job? Why’d you leave it?”Then start to ask them the questions you are suspicious of. Like, “Why did you transfer files from your computer?”If they start to roll away from you, then they are lying.让他们坐在可滑动的椅子上先问一些简单的问题，诸如“你什么时候出生的？”“你出生在哪儿？”等等，他们往往不会滚动椅子然后问一些难一点的问题，你知道他们肯定会如实回答的。诸如：“你的第一份工作是?""你为什么离职？”这时候开始问他们一些，你怀疑的问题。诸如“为什么你从电脑上传输文件？？”如果他们有滑动椅子远离你的动作，他们就是在撒谎。
He said, “there’s another way you can tell.”
If you ask a question and they don’t answer directly.
For instance, your spouse comes home late and you say, “Where have you been?” and he or she answers, “I was out with friends!”
Notice: they did not answer the question. They never said where they have been.
So they have something to hide. Or they are lying.
The plane landed. We did the usual, “nice to meet you, we will probably never see each other again.”
I have my own way of telling if people are lying to me.
They are ALWAYS lying.
I’ve noticed that this rule almost always applies: There is a good reason and a real reason.
My daughter says, “Dad, I need to study in the library.”
“Studying” is a good reason.
Unsaid: “and there are lots of guys hanging out at the library today.” That might be the real reason.
I started to notice that almost everyone speaks in “good reasons”. You can’t argue with anyone.
“Why did you go to the store?”
“We needed toilet paper.”
Real reason: “Please let me out of this house for five minutes so I don’t have to hear that baby crying.”
Or at work:
“Should we use X software or Y software?”
“Let’s use X software. Y software doesn’t look as good.”
Real reason: “I don’t know how to use Y software.”
You can’t argue with good reasons. They are good for a reason.
But I always take the time to figure out the real reason in almost every conversation I have.
This is great for relationships, investments, parenting, work, everything.
“Why do I write?’
“Because I love telling a good story and helping people.”
Real reason: Because I want people to like me. Because I don’t like myself as much as I should and this is a way to get some approval and love.
Both reasons might be correct. But the real reason is always there, a thriving underworld life inches underneath the cool blue waves of the ocean.